The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Albuquerque Public School System by parents of students:
1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent ...

1. Call her by the dog's name and then deny it.
2. Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally different subject.
3. Superglue the commode seat in the up ...

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, ...