After you are married there are several stages of sex.
Smurf sex- You fuck until you are blue in the face.
Kitchen sex- You fuck anywhere in the house, even in the kitchen.
Bedroom sex- It ...

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co- workers saw him they asked him what had happened. He told them it had happened at church. They didn't believe him, and wanted to ...

There were three men drinking in a bar, a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. ...

There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children. ...

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports ...

The secretary came in late for work for the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you ...

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!
Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !
Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts ...

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. ...

There were three babies in a woman's womb, and they were discussing what they would like to be when they were out in the world and grown up. The first one said "I wanna be a plumber." The others laughed ...

Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who was tap dancing?
A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
Q: What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime?
A: Paddy O'Furniture!
Q: ...

A seven year old boy goes to the hospital with his grandmother to visit his grandfather.
When they arrive, Johnny runs ahead of his granny, and bursts into his grandfather's room.
"Grandpa", ...

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown ...