3 sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together they discussed gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." ...

Bubba and Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle ...

When the End of the World Arrives, How Will the Media Report It?
USA Today: WE'RE DEAD
The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
National Enquirer: O.J. AND ...

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.
One little girl raised her hand and said, ...

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, ...

How does a UNIX expert have sex?
Unzip strip touch finger mount fsck more yes unmount sleep.

A professor stood before his class of twenty senior
organic biology students, about to hand out the final
exam.
"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this
semester. I ...

A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, "What can I get for you?"
The man says "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll ...

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
One woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."
The second ...

A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into.
She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake ...

A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and ...

Let's see if I understand how America works lately...
If a woman burns her thighs on a hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant.
If your teenage ...